Wellies

If you do not live in the countryside, there is a good chance you have never experienced a really good pair of wellies (wellington boots). Of course some people may still own wellies, but will not be getting the full benefit from them unless they are frequently walking in the countryside.

Allow me to explain. The humble welly (also known as the gumboot, topboot, rubber boot) was invented by the Duke of Wellington (hence the name). As a thick, heavy and waterproof boot it is undoubtedly unsuitable for city wearage.

Maybe you were thinking you'd make a bold fashion statement by marcing through streets in your cool boots? However, soon you'd meet the error of your ways when the boots begin to chafe and legs get tired, your feet get sore. Even the funky coloured ones you can buy fall short when it comes to concrete, tarmac and slippery supermarket floor surfaces.

No, the only decent place to wear wellies is in the countryside. You must pull on your footwear(worn with a skirt and wooly tights, jeans or other trousers) and march off. Remember to wear lots of layers because the cold wind will get you. These days, there is rarely a conversation that begins at school that doesn't include the words "I'm cold".

Ready? Off you go up your hill. Goodness , there is a puddle 3 feet to your left! Take a large sidestep and jump in it! Now the incline begins. The footpath is dusty and well trodden but just a little to the left there is a muddy trench between the edge of the farmers field. Run in it! When crossing the stream do not take the stepping stones or precarious pathway. Stamp across (but try not to clean any mud off your wellies). In fact, at positively any opportunity try and stamp mud onto the shoes. Mud mud mud!

If you have followed the intructions carefully, by the end of your exhilarating walk you should be hot, smiling and rather pink in the face, not to mention your damp and mud soaked body. When you return to your house you will strip off your wellies and many layers of clothing.

And relax. Your wellies have done their job, you are happier and healhtier due to the exercise. You mind is clear and you will get an excellent nights sleep tonight.
Raise your muddy wellies to the air and cheer in rubbery celebration!

Good internet places to buy cool wellies (or the most interesting ones that come up on google)include http://www.funky-wellington-boots.co.uk/ and http://www.wonderfulwellies.co.uk/.