Strictly Come Dancing in a Nutshell

As the subtitles roll, the men and women are proudly parading enough silk and sequins to rival any red carpet. They twirl and pose with grins and glitz and glamour, in scorn of the grumpy weather outside. Yes, it’s Strictly Come Dancing, that time of the year again when Saturday evenings can be spent snuggling on the sofa with family, watching couples shimmering around the dance floor.

Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly are the smiling hosts of the show, and they play their roles well. Bruce, the lovable TV legend and national treasure, perplexes the younger generations with bizarre catchphrases that apparently relate to his older television appearances. Still you can’t help but feel sort of protective towards him and his whiskery face. That is, until he cracks another of his ‘jokes’ speedily spreading confusion and groaning across the country.

Tess is always ready to keep up the morale of the couples once they’ve run backstage. She may look polished and relaxed in her rainbow-hued evening gowns but it can’t be easy for her, knowing what to say to make people talk, then stop when “the scores are in.” She is like sunshiny polyfilla, doing hard graft under pressure but making it all look seamless.

Claudia Winkleman is the third side of the Strictly Come Dancing presenting triangle with the talk show “It Takes Two” on weekdays. For the hardcore fans, Claudia interviews the performers and catches up with the training and gossip, all whilst wearing plentiful eyeliner and killer heels. We see a different side to the judges and dancers whilst they sit on her sofa. “Mean” Craig Revel Horwood always seems positively bubbly!

Bruno Tonioli is the notoriously flamboyant judge, frequently hopping up from his seat to gesture, roll his ‘r’s and just generally be very dramatic – darling! Alesha Dixon has been through the Strictly process herself and won it in 2007, so she has a closer understanding of how the contestants feel and the people at home. She has faced a lot of media backlash since she replaced Arlene Philips (plus the whole BBC being ageist malarkey, since Phillips is 60+ and has apparently been replaced by a “younger model”), but Alesha has handled it well, and adds a fresh dimension to the panel, complete with raucous laugh.

Head judge Len Goodman leads the gang of four. Over the series’ he has emerged as a stickler for the rules. As long as the couple goes out there and attacks the dance, they may well be able to earn one of his coveted “sev-en!”s out of ten, as he has a reputation for being fairly lenient. But beware, you have to steer clear of too much flouncing around at the beginning of the dance - when Len gets wound up, a low score from him can seriously dent your position in the leaderboard.

 

Of course, the show wouldn’t be anything without the contestants – soap stars, TV presenters and sports stars. Just a few stick out in my mind at the moment: Natalie Cassidy with her contagious enthusiasm, Phil Tufnell and his gyrating derriere and cuddly Chris Hollins partnered up with Ola Jordan – Miss Whiplash! Craig Kelly, the ex-Eastender doesn't come off as nice person or cute. He's getting through by emotionally twisting the British public, just so he can "Get to Blackpool", which is where Strictly will be hosted next week. This has meant better couples than him like Zoe Lucker (and her ridiculously low self-esteem) and James have been kicked off earlier than expected. Is this fair? next week hopefully we can finally bid him farewell.

Every week I am equally entertained and caught up in the magic that is the dancing. Each dance is like another personality in the programme. The rumba is like the mysterious sexy stranger, and the viennese waltz like a romantic but dizzy friend. The jive or cha cha cha are my favourites. Perhaps they’re a pair of energetic cousins who like to kick things?

The professional dancers are there to teach and support their budding celebrities, as well as single-handledly choreographing the routines. When they dance, people watch. Sometimes with the celebrities the beautiful costumes and music catch my attention more than the steps, but when the professionals do a group dance it’s so exciting and perfect. I can’t take my eyes off the screen. Of course we still get to know them really well, and sort the genuinely nice from the over-competitive or self-absorbed. My favourites are Ian Waite, Flavia Cacace, Vincent Simone and Erin Boag. I really dislike James Jordan and Anton du Beke!

As the weeks of training and sparkly shows go on and as the Christmas final approaches, I get more and more entranced. The dancing will improve and the bonds between professional and celebrity will strengthen (or crack?). Maybe Craig will be pushed into dusting down his elusive golden 10 paddle. At the end of each show, I always feel inspired to turn up the music, leap off the sofa and dance like nobody’s watching! The newspaper may say that the X Factor got over 13 million viewers last week, compared to dear Strictly Come Dancing’s mere 9 million, but for me it’s clear which is the winner.

I feel like I should go find a tube of glitter now and scatter it all over this blog spot so it looks the part!